Next apocalypse is scheduled for March 14, 2015, 9:26:53am. This event is known as “The Pi Apocalypse“, because the date aligns to the value of Pi perfectly, 3.141592653. On that day, our planet will explode and we will all DIE, as represented by the Pi equation and predicted by Albert Einstein.
“Pi Day” (3/14) is celebrated every year by the Cult of Pi. However, the upcoming Pi Day in 2015 is mathematically accurate to 10 to the 13th digits as calculated by a super-computer algorithm in 2011. Albert Einstein’s birthday is also on 3/14 (Pi Day), and he predicted this terminal event in his “quantized atomic vibrations” theory. Einstein never directly said it, but he hinted that harmonic oscillations between atoms are continuously creating sympathetic vibrations that generate molecular heat at an exponential rate (which explains Global Warming). As the heat grows, the Earth will contain the increasing pressure until it pops like a balloon. Knowing the rate of heat growth, and how much pressure the Earth can hold, precise mathematics produces a result of the given date.
Others have argued that the Earth will not blow up like the Death Star. Rather, they expect that molten lava and heavy volcanic activity will cover most land masses and that ash will block out the sun, except Antarctica. Personally, I think this is just wishful thinking to give people hope that they could survive the apocalypse as a mere extinction level event.
There will also be a pie eating contest.
Known as the Magnanimous and Beneficent Doctor Warthan, I disseminate the propaganda of SteamPunk through a special series of psychological formulae that I have designated Omega7Red.